


A Mistake's Loyalty

by Masked_Trickster



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anxiety, Body Dysphoria, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rebirth, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Swearing, Two-Spirit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2019-08-27 00:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16692007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masked_Trickster/pseuds/Masked_Trickster
Summary: It's hard to let go of things that have been snatched from your hands. It's hard to let go of someone once you realize you can never see them again. You want to stay loyal to those people and your culture. Some things you don't have to let go of, and other things you can welcome into your life.Sometimes you meet new people, and it's up to you to let them in.orA si/oc is reborn as some random leaf ninja's child. Only, they refuse to let go of the family they were taken from.





	1. A Family

There was warmth, and sadness. They could see light sometimes, but otherwise it was dark. There was constant noise at the same time. A steady beat. It was as if they had their ear pressed against someone's stomach, but it was all around them.

They’d imagined this must have been what a sensory deprivation tank must have felt like. One of their friends liked to frequent them, and said you could have them play specific music.

Another time, a teacher had told them about "The World's Quietest Room." She had said that people couldn't stand being inside of it for too long, because they'd start hearing their organs too clearly. Maybe that was what it was like.

There was an odd sense of loss as they waited for something to change. Was this death? Were they even a person anymore? Nothing more than a spirit floating in odd warmth. Had there been a mistake? Were they just meant to exist for all eternity?

They couldn’t help but think of their mother and little siblings. Their sisters would cry, but young as they were, they’d be okay.

Their mother...she was strong, but the loss would hurt her in ways they weren’t sure of. To lose a child...it was something unimaginable.

Their little brother? He would be the oldest now. What would he do with that?

They wished they’d had more time. They wished they’d been kinder. They wished they’d said how much they loved them all more.

* * *

Their lungs breathed air for the first time in so long. The world was bright and hurt their eyes. There was a sudden overload of their senses, they could only try to curl in on themselves to stop it. Only, they were lifted into the cold air, people were talking hurriedly.

They felt pain, and they screamed. Pain was something that they hadn’t felt in so long. It was almost too hard to process.

Someone held them, but their hands felt like sandpaper on their skin. They continued to scream. They were handed to someone smaller, the small one was shouting. They tried to scream for help, but their throat felt like it’d never been used before.

Finally, they handed them to someone warm and familiar. They held them close and spoke softly. They sounded exhausted. They just kept whispering, “Zhong-chan,” at them.

_ Why were they calling me that? That isn’t my name. _

* * *

_ How dare they. How  _ dare _ they. _

It took awhile for their new baby brain to have the ability to understand exactly what was going on. They were a newborn named “Zhong”, and those people were their new “family.”

They looked hardly anything like them. Their skin was too pale. Their hair the wrong shade of brown. Their faces lacked the features of their people. While that wouldn’t have been a problem usually, one glance at their chubby baby hands caused tremors to go up their spine.

Their skin was just as pale as they were, and their beauty marks were missing. There were a few birthmarks on the new hands that were the correct shade, but their arms and legs were the pale skin tone of their new “family.”

They could hardly move in their weak newborn body, so finding a mirror for themself was out. All they could do was sit where their new family placed them and accept that they were trapped. But, given the opportunity, would they look into a mirror?

* * *

The new “family” seemed simple enough. Though, realizing their apparent “Father” was an anime nerd was a bit of a shock. He’d just walk around wearing his Naruto Ninja cosplay like it was normal. He’d even leave the house wearing it.

Zhong could only understand a few bits and pieces from the conversation, but “Mother” treated his cosplay like he was going off to war or something. He wouldn’t even say anything to her. He’d just pat Zhong’s brother on the head and leave.

Then, there was the brother. You’d think “Father” would take his kid on his Naruto LARPing adventures. Let the kid be a genin or something.

If he could make a ninja uniform that realistic looking, he could make a tiny one for the brother and take him with. 

But no, the brother was left at home with “Mother,” and would play with his toys until deciding to stare at Zhong.

Boring.

Zhong would be left to stare at the wall until they soiled themself and would have to deal with the indignity of getting their diaper changed.

Disgusting and Boring.

Only, this time, the brother didn’t just stare at Zhong. He actually crawled over to Zhong and started talking. He kept talking like Zhong could understand, pointing at things and telling them about them.

It was annoying at first. But, this was far better than having to stare at the wall while “Mother” cleaned the house.

He was so much bigger than Zhong, but so much smaller than “Mother” and “Father.” He had dark brown hair and a round jaw like “Mother.” His black eyes resembled their father's.

From his size, he must have been around six. In Zhong’s past life, their little sisters had been around his size at that age, but they were a bit tall, as it goes with the women in their family.

While Zhong contemplated their brother’s age, the brother said something and laughed at it, and it touched Zhong’s heart a bit. He was just a kid, he wanted to interact with his baby sibling.

Zhong decided to give the Brother a gift, and they laughed along with him.

The brother’s eyes widened and he ran off without a word.

_ Well...so much for that _ , Zhong thought.

They could hear him yelling something from another room. A few minutes later, he came back with “Mother” in tow.

She looked tired, and Zhong couldn’t help but wonder why. If anything, they were a model baby. They never cried, they...never did much of anything. Oh. She probably thought there was something wrong with her “baby.”

In truth, there was, but they didn’t need her to know that and start worrying.

Their brother dragged her over to them and kept pointing and shouting. “Mother” finally got him to calm down after a few moments. She seemed like a good mother, not yelling or getting angry despite how tired she looked.

Their brother gingerly sat down next to Zhong. He looked worried that Zhong wasn’t going to respond correctly.

The brother said the same thing he’d said before, only this time, without laughing and Zhong could only stare at him. Their brother seemed to wilt at that, and “Mother” did too.

Their brother tried again, this time adding a weird face at the end of it.

Zhong tried to snort, but it came out sounding like a baby’s giggle. Zhong stopped in embarrassment, only for “Mother” to rush over and pick them up.

She was looking at them like they’d hung the stars because their brother had asked.

“Zhong-chan… Takara-chan, thank you.”

So their brother’s name was Takara.

* * *

 

Takara became their go to babysitter after that.

He’d been there for when Zhong “first” started crawling. They were an older sibling of four, and had helped raise three. They knew around when babies were supposed to start crawling.

If Zhong was a bit of an early bloomer because of impatience, well, who would call them on that.

After Zhong had been deemed “mobile enough,” they were able to leave the house in a baby wrap. Usually it was in a tight swaddled bundle so they couldn’t see anything but “Mother” and the people she showed them to.

Today was the day Zhong was wrapped like a sentient backpack and would go to the park with Takara.

“Mother” was walking along with them. She wasn’t going to send her 8 month old off alone with her six year old. That would be insane.

It didn’t connect in their brain that there was a Hokage Mountain staring them in the face until all three of them were at the park. They’d wailed until they were taken home.

* * *

The Hokage Mountain event had been surprising. Zhong had been left too tired to interact with anyone afterwards. Takara had cried, and “Mother” seemed to wilt again.

“Mother” seemed to wilt a lot.

* * *

The second time they went out, Zhong was much more prepared for what they were going to see.

They made sure to take in everything they could. There were ninja running and jumping from roof to roof.

There was the hustle and bustle of civilians shopping at stands and haggling with shop owners. 

Zhong couldn’t help but think, “So, I’m going to live my life in this dangerous place?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More exposition, the house gets colder, Zhong gets a bit more used to things

_ Should I become a ninja? _

_ What if I die? _

_ The fourth hokage wasn’t on the mountain yet. We could be anywhere between the parents time period or Kakashi’s. _

Zhong’s thoughts were interrupted by Takara gently sliding them down a slide.

Zhong let out a squeal of excitement, and Takara laughed along with them.

The thoughts of danger were easily pushed from their mind.

They’d never had an older brother before. 

* * *

In watching “Mother,” Zhong realized that she didn’t seem very happy with her relationship with “Father.” The two hardly ever talked, and “Father” didn’t seem to ever look at Zhong. The only person in the house he really talked to was Takara.

“Mother” and Zhong were just tagalongs. They filed “Father” away as another disappointing father figure.

* * *

At 1 year old, “Mother” and Takara gave Zhong a modest birthday party. Takara had Zhong “help” him make their cake. If anything, he’d just have Zhong hand him things.

“Mother” had given Zhong a little pink elephant stuffed toy. They’d loved it, and held it close. That seemed to make “Mother” happy. 

Zhong had also begun their attempts at walking. Takara was more than happy to help them with that.

* * *

“Zhong-chan, it’s bath time!”

Zhong was finally big and mobile enough that they could actually use the bathtub instead of the sink. This was going to be their first time in the bathroom really.

No one wanted to take a newborn into the “dirty” bathroom. So now that they were able to walk, and stand, they were safe enough to try it.

Zhong was carried by Takara into the bathroom, chattering on about how fun it was going to be, to be in a tub when they were their size.

“You’ll be able to swim, Zhong-chan! Oh! Look, it’s you and me!”

Zhong looked up into the mirror and felt their heart stutter. In Takara’s arms was a pale baby with one green and one black eye, and brown hair.

_ That’s not how I’m supposed to look. _

They took a few moments to look at their hair and eyes. Their hair a few shades too light of a brown. Their eyes were completely different from their original dark brown. Their skin was far too pale to be theirs.

Zhong recalled a memory of when they were back home. They were getting their hair cut by a cousin. He’d just opened his own barber shop and he was the only one that could properly cut their hair. They were looking at their light brown hands and complaining about how pale they had gotten recently.

“Yeah, but it’s winter,” their cousin had said. Ma had laughed.

Zhong looked at this new body and felt a cold hand grip their heart.

Their hair and eyes had once been a beautiful deep brown. Now, their body held hardly a trace of who they were. The shades of brown just close enough to feel like the world wanted to say “So close, but not enough.”

The only thing that they could recognize were the birthmarks on their face. The biggest one was just under their lips, climbing up their jaw line. It was the exact shade of brown as their original body’s skin, and Zhong couldn’t help but feel like it was a reminder of what they’d lost.

* * *

At 3 years old, Zhong started wearing a surgical mask. They hated the curl in their stomach that would happen if they caught themselves in the mirror. Most of the time, it was just some random child’s face that they couldn’t place as their own. It was on days where they couldn’t stand to look at themselves without wishing for their old face back that they were worried about.

* * *

Takara had begun taking them to the library over the past year, realizing Zhong’s love of stories. They couldn’t read yet, but Takara could. Takara was more than happy to read to Zhong and teach them a few tricks of memorizing the symbols.

Zhong had been lucky baby brains soaked up patterns like sponges. They’d hoped to be reading soon, and not have to rely on Takara to read books out loud to them anymore. They hadn’t minded at first, because who doesn’t like having a book read to them with funny voices done by said person?

With how hard they were working, they hardly noticed “Father’s” eyes on them.

* * *

It was a few months after that, that Zhong was made to join Takara and “Father’s” training sessions. “Father” had taken an interest in their apparent maturity and intelligence. There was less time to sit with “Mother” at the house now.

Zhong tried to mimic Takara’s movements, but their older brother had experience on Zhong’s coordination.

* * *

Takara had come back from training looking nervous. His hands fidgeting and he would flinch at loud sounds from outside. He held still as “Father” talked to him. Takara looked like he was going to be sick, but “Father” looked happy for the first time since Zhong had known him.

Zhong listened as “Father” left, and “Mother” began to cry. Takara toward the kitchen where “Mother” hid herself, then back to Zhong.

He gently took Zhong’s hand before leading them into the kitchen.

“Mama?”

The crying stopped all at once.

“Mama,” Takara said, “It’ll be okay. They’re not putting me on the front lines or anything.”

Zhong wasn’t sure where to look when “Mother” lifted her head up. Her eyes and face were red and swollen from crying, and Zhong felt they were intruding on something intimate.

“Mother” then did something that surprised both her children. She pulled them into a nearly bone crushing hug. Zhong was sure they’d bruise, but her words stopped the two from moving.

“I love you both. If anything were to happen to you...no. This world is meant for the strong. I need you to get as strong as you can to protect yourselves.”

“Mother” pulled away.

“People will try their best to hurt you, or get what they want out of you. If I could, I’d take you both away from here and you’d never have to assure me that you’ll be alright. But I can’t. Takara, Zhong, I want you to become as strong as you can and live. Keep living. I don’t care what happens to me or anyone around you. Keep living.”

Takara and Zhong couldn’t find the words to say, so they nodded. It was as if a crack had formed on “Mother’s” shivering frame. Her eyes were cold and her grip bruising.

“Mother” didn’t talk about it after that. Zhong had gotten a hug from Takara before he left.

The house was cold after that.

* * *

At four, Zhong was able to walk around the village alone. They wandered a lot, hoping to maybe see a kid around Takara’s age with silver hair, but they never did.

Zhong instead saw a man with long white hair walking with a genin team. There was a blonde boy with blue eyes on that team.

Zhong ran as far away as their legs could take them.

* * *

Zhong entered the academy and Takara came home.

“I wasn’t on the front lines, I just had to do a few small missions.”

Zhong noticed that Takara was a lot quieter than when he’d left, and wondered about the missions.

* * *

Zhong was at the top of their class in academics, the teacher hardly cared if they left after an exam. So, Zhong left often.

None of the other kids really knew how to approach Zhong, and Zhong didn’t really want to allow them to. They preferred to sit on their own in one of the training ground forests and read.

It was during this reading that Zhong met someone.

* * *

Zhong was reading an older woman’s romance novel when it happened. There was a loud crash and Zhong felt their center of gravity shift.

Suddenly there was a flash of white and Zhong was being carried by someone. Zhong looked up at the man, he had grey hair and black eyes.

“Hey, kid, are you alright?”

Zhong just stared at the man, taking in his features, then screamed.

The man winced, “Sorry, kid, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just trying out a technique- Aren’t you a bit young to be reading that kind of book?”

“I’m an adult.”

It had just slipped out. The man laughed though, “Sure you are, kid.”

The two of them landed on the ground a moment later, the man set Zhong down.

“What happened? Who’re you?” Zhong asked, they kept their eyes on him, already knowing the second answer.

“Maa, maa...it seems I chopped down the tree you were in. I hadn’t realized there was a child in the forest. Usually this training ground is empty.”

Zhong continued to stare, “Who’re you?”

“Hatake Sakumo, and you?”

“Zhong.”

“Oh, the little prodigy that likes to skip class. Tanaka mentioned you.”

Tanaka was Zhong’s homeroom teacher. He liked to talk.

“I have a son that likes to wear a mask too. He’s around your age, so maybe he’ll be in your class next year.”

"Maybe..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so Zhong's going to be showing more emotion as time goes on. I figure a few years to cope with their death and their new family will work well for them. Maybe get a bit of their old self back.


End file.
